An Open Letter To Guys Yelling From Cars

“QUEER!”

I had just gotten off the bus and was maybe one hundred feet from the bus stop when you yelled that at me from your car. Well, maybe not your car since it I believe it came from the passenger side - I don’t know for sure because I never looked up. I’m guessing it was the cold weather that filled you with such rage that you had to roll your window down in the 17 degree Massachusetts air and yell at me while driving to wherever you were going. Maybe it wasn’t rage, but some repressed homosexuality. Could that have been it? Were you yelling at me to get a date? Sorry boo, I have a boyfriend. Maybe you were a high school student showing the car full of your high school friends just how straight you were. You were just proving your straightness, right? I mean that’s a thing people do and you were just doing what people do. No big deal. Maybe you just hate gay people. Hate is such a strong word, perhaps you just are a little disgusted by such an abomination. Ew, two men having sex is just the grossest! Maybe you were just yelling out of you car in solidarity, that must have been it. You saw my winter hat, the bomber hat with fur trim I got at Old Navy a couple years ago, that must have been a beacon in a sea of faded grey sidewalks. You must have been dying to get that off your chest. Had it been stuck in there all day? Or is this something you do often? Does it make you feel like a better person? A bigger person? I bet it did!

You know what? I am taking this out just on you stranger that yelled at me from a car yesterday when honestly there has been so many more amazing people just like you. I’m not even sure how many times now that guys like you have yelled at me from their car. It must be that souped up pussy wagon you’re riding that gets your straight testosterone flowing just enough to muster up the strength to push the window button down and yell, “Fag!” or the other classic “Faggot!” It’s always real special when you yell something sweet to me from your window too, like, “Nice shoes, faggot!” I get all ‘aw shucks’ thanks for noticing my shoes when you do that - so keep it up!

So, thank you for letting everyone around me know that I am in fact queer or a fag or whatever else you yell from your car, it saves me the trouble. Coming out to complete strangers is such a chore and you just did the hard part for me!